My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
