if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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