therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
