nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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