Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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