We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
