I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
