got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
