The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
