My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
