I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize