my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
God, I missed his penis.
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