Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
