ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
