It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
