And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
