She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
