yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
