he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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