He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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