You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
