he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
