last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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