she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
