You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I queefed so loud it echoed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
