Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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