I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
