i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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