I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
