You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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