You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
