i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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