Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
