piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
