does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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