Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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