i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
