ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
