what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
