fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
