A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
