the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
