he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i dont even know how to be here
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
