I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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