apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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