I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
