Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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