Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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