Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
