id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
