He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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